TNT didn’t do anything this cheesy; I just took a screen cap and made it black and white and threw some quotes on it to try and remind myself of how bangin’ JR Ewing was. Yes, was. He is an ex-villain. He is no more. He has gone to the Great Beyond. (And my use of Monty Python’s sacred parrot sketch should tell you that I do not take this lightly; it’s just that my stages of Hag-grief have progressed and now I’m into the little-known third-and-a-half phase, “Snarking Through The Pain.”) Lots of patched-together Frankenstein scenes with him happen first, but at the end of the episode, J.R. Ewing is rudely expelled from this mortal coil. And I do not consider it a spoiler to suggest that you only need one guess as to how it happened. This week, we grieve. Next week, we mourn the shit out of it. Get ready.

Tags: Dallas