It’s a tale as old as time, beginning with “I was going to ‘Well Played’ this,” and continuing with, “AND THEN.”
I do love her in red (isn’t she contractually obligated to wear gold, silver, or nude tones — sparkles optional, but encouraged — to every event?), and I like that she went with the restrained eyeliner and bold lip. It’s all fine, is what I’m saying. But then I kept looking, and… is the light reflecting strangely, or are there bra-cup outlines under there? Hooray for bras, a friend to every breast, but now that I’ve seen it I can’t go back and pretend it’s not happening. SOMETHING is going on under there, and I’m not just referring to how that boning and shiny stuff means her torso looks a bit like a Grey’s Anatomy episode gone wrong. I need you to vote and screw my head on straight.
But first, at least this happened:
It’s the CMT Artist of the Year event, which I assume Rob Lowe is attending because he’s finally being recognized for all that saxophone he sucked on during St. Elmo’s Fire, which was only country if you count his mullet as a pre-Billy Ray Cyrus expression of a man’s deepest, achiest, breakiest heart. But I like to imagine that Rob Lowe is exactly like his Parks & Rec character, and that he is currently introducing himself to Taylor by saying, “I am lit’rally your biggest fan in the entire universe. I LIT’rally wanted to force-feed Joe Jonas some trans-fats after he dumped you by phone.” And then she was like, “Radcakes, dude,” and this happened:
It’s a love story, baby — won’t you say yes? (Memo to Rob: Don’t say yes. I don’t mean it.)
Now that you know she's got friends in Lowe places, can you even think about the dress?
- Yes, and I hate it (5%, 433 Votes)
- Yes, and I cherish it (34%, 2,747 Votes)
- Yes, and it's fine (52%, 4,255 Votes)
- No, because I want to go to there. (8%, 681 Votes)
Total Voters: 8,120
Loading ...[Photos: WENN]
