(6) LINDSAY LOHAN v. (14) STELLA MCCARTNEY
You know how I often judge people by whether or not I’d like to be stuck in an elevator with them? I don’t want to be in an elevator with either of these two:
Lindsay, because I would get so sad about the fact that she’s done weird things to her face, and because I would also want to have a Come to Jesus with her about Looking at Her Life, Looking at Her Choices, but that would end badly. And also because I suspect she’d spent the entire time complaining about how she’s late for something and why is this happening to her and no one understands her and she wants to win an Oscar and she really thinks she might have found true love with Terry Richardson and SHUT UP LINDSAY. SHUT UP AND PUT ON SOME PANTS.
And maybe STOP going places with Dina:
And please think about never, ever going back to this hair color:
And, while I’ve got you captive, a few other things:
- Did I mention the cheek implants? NO. YOU DIDN’T NEED THEM. FIX YOUR FACE.
- Stop trying to look “classy” and just aim for NORMAL.
- Burn this dress.
And maybe see if someone will cast you as Emma Stone’s older sister in something. IMAGINE THE PRESS. Also: you are a hot mess, but at least you’re sober (?) AND you have a huge advantage over a lot of actors in that you are almost always likeable on-screen. I Know Who Killed Me was terrible, but the thing is, it wasn’t really your fault. You’re almost always at least decent in your crappy movies. CAPITALIZE ON THIS.
Speaking of someone whose work output is not always what we hoped for:
You’re a designer who can’t HEM HER OWN TROUSERS. Also this:
And also THIS:
I am so perplexed by what is even HAPPENING there that I’m just throwing it to the vote:
Whose fug reigns supreme?
- Lohan (62%, 5,686 Votes)
- McCartney (38%, 3,541 Votes)
Total Voters: 9,205
(2) LADY GAGA v. (7) RASHIDA JONES
On the other hand, I would happily be stuck in an elevator with either one of these women. Gaga would at least be a really good story:
I could ask her how she walks in those shoes — useful life knowledge!
I could ask her if she regrets her Jo Calderone phase, and if she ever called up Garth Brooks to ask him if Chris Gaines wanted to go out for a beer.
I would obviously ask her how she keeps her scepter so shiny:
And if she kind of hates Nicki Minaj for Going Full Gaga RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.
On the other hand, you know Rashida would probably be totally nice and friendly while you were waiting to be rescued. She can’t help that sometimes she looks somewhat bland. Okay. She can totally help it. But still: it doesn’t make her not a nice person:
I also love neck ruffles! We could talk about neck ruffles dos and don’ts, and she could ruefully admit that this look was a don’t. We could also talk about butt bows, and she could admit the same re: this:
We could discuss our fashion pit-falls! I buy too many metallics, she loves beige too intensely:
And then we’d talk about how awesome Ron Swanson is.
Whose fug reigns supreme?
- Lady Gaga (82%, 7,281 Votes)
- Rashida Jones (18%, 1,632 Votes)
Total Voters: 8,909