Is it just me, or was Eurovision kind of tame this year? I feel like people are relying too heavily on the use of fancy screens, and not attempting lots of insane choreography and acrobatics. Remember the year of the unicycles? Or the time the grannies baked bread? The boat made of people? Cezar of Romania and the dancer who may have come out of his massive skirt? Or the time Greece sang a song called “Alcohol Is Free”?

Also: By now, the annual Eurovision Song Contest is much more familiar over here, but if you need a primer here is our complete archive of coverage, which begins in 2006 with Lordi — the heavy-metal robots from Finland who took home the prize. I grew up watching it and have long cherished it as an over-the-top orgy of global goofiness (and apparently sometimes an orgy, full stop, or at least like a weekend of reliving college like you never left), so writing about it every year is basically my favorite thing. Met Gala plus Cannes plus Eurovision plus Jess’s birthday = May is the best month of the year.

The rest of the finalists, and some semi-finalists, will be in the next post. I had to split it up for length reasons.

[Photos: Getty, me]