This dress itself is old news — Katy Perry and Rihanna both wore versions in other colors, and to be blunt, it was dumb then, too.

I mean, it’s the wearable equivalent of getting changed behind open Venetian blinds. If she had a dude with binoculars next to her — preferably Crispin Glover, obviously — they could be in costume as “Peeping Tom.”

But the real point of amusement here, for me, the pairing of Smurfette’s disastrous appointment at the spray-blue salon with staid beige pumps. As if she studied herself in the mirror and then said to her shiny boobs and winking navel, “Nah, I wouldn’t want to be too sexy here.”

[Photo: Getty]