Listen, Emmy people: Always nominate Chloe Sevigny. You want her on your red carpet in something long and froofy and wackadoo, not just at the post-parties in a tiny minidress that shows off her exceptional legs and makes my eyes cross:
Leopard print is fine by me; the reason I can’t sign off on this is that it’s hypnotizing me. Seriously, join me in staring at her midsection. Do you see that? How the sheen and the shadow make it look bulgy, like she’s sneaking a standard-size bed pillow into the party under her dress? What is happening? Is this like one of those old Magic Eye posters? I hope that by staring at this for ten more minutes, Vincent Gallo will appear with a handful of beard clippings and a bar of soap. Because frankly, I’ll probably get caught staring at it for ten more minutes anyway, and I’d at least like to get a laugh or a mighty shriek out of it.