Eighty-fifth verse, same as the first.
I’m never even sure what I think anymore. I have Hendricks fatigue. Symptoms include back pain and an inability to remember how boobs are supposed to be arranged. This seems… better? I mean, it can’t get much worse than the time Christina pulled a Johansson (so named for the crime against mammaries Scarlett committed in this dress eons ago), but I do think the cleav may be the least of whatever problems there are. Such as, how it looks like someone shot her in the stomach with a glitter gun. But not really in an ugly way, just in a “This nightie cost me six thousand dollars and so it’s too expensive to sleep in” kind of way.
I felt weird posting this photo, but then I realized it’s all for science. And it’s not like the camera is IN her cleavage. It’s just NEAR it. And they’re clearly a little compressed, but they’d have to be, wouldn’t they? I think for the most part I’m going to give her boob-wrangling efforts in this a solid B-plus.
For eyelid-wrangling, though, this is a D. Every photo from this angle, her left eyelid appeared to be taking a nap, or weighed down, perhaps by eyelash extensions made of the rarest zebra hair or something. That really lends this whole affair that priceless “Old-School Movie Actress Vows Revenge, Arrives At Emmys After Eating Only Gin For Six Days” vibe. If only she had a turban, we could talk about how she’s Gloria Swanson, whom I hope they reveal to be Ron Motherf’ing Swanson’s secret relative — well, that, or whoever makes Swanson dinners. Wait, how did this get to be about Parks and Recreation? See, I KNEW it was a bad idea for them to stick the Emmys right after Fashion Week again. My head is broken.
What do we think about Hendricks?
- It's fantastic! FINALLY! (16%, 1,534 Votes)
- It's fantastic, but she always looks fantastic. (12%, 1,207 Votes)
- It's so-so -- room for improvement, but not her worst (43%, 4,195 Votes)
- I just wish it were a color. (17%, 1,668 Votes)
- YIKES. (11%, 1,083 Votes)
Total Voters: 9,687