Ellie Goulding’s latest album drops today, or has already dropped, and so a photo shoot popped up on our service. Everything here seems in order: Okay, I might not have put an aggressive sports bra with a little plaid dress, but maybe the dress came late and the top didn’t quite fit and
aaaaAAAAAAAAH that is SUCH an aggressive sports bra that it’s shorts. It’s a shorts bra.
Why… is this happening? Is she biking everywhere now? Is she preparing in case a Peloton is dropped from the sky? Or did she look at all the archival content people are peddling right now, and how so much of it from the aughts involves needless leggings, and think to herself what a wonderful world it would be if every outfit was designed around the ability to flee on two wheels? Did she think, “I’ll see your needless leggings, and raise you a needless UNITARD”? I hope there are at LEAST two songs on her album about this.