If this isn’t recycled denim — if it’s not a patchwork of stuff that would otherwise get dumped in a landfill, necessitating some desperation sewing — then please don’t tell me. If this was not made because Big Denim banded together and blackmailed the designer, then please don’t tell me. If a bunch of stone-cold sober people were involved in putting a waistband that many inches above her waist, and above a high belt, and tucked right at her boobs, then please don’t tell me. My tired brain can’t process anybody making this out of sincerity.

[Photo: Getty Images]