We’re okay until we get to her groin — which is not something a lady usually likes to hear.

If I’m correct, that is a velvet skirt, cut like a denim one from 1983 and then crowned with a ribbon that looks like it used to hold together some hay bales in a distant barn. She’s so PRETTY, and that figure should be so easy to flatter. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. Even the owl on her shirt appears to feel threatened, like its habitat is endangered by an encroaching furry sweat sack.


Look at that lovely English rose. This is basically a poster for the wonders of a) sunscreen, b) sleep, c) drinking water, d) not prostrating yourself to a spray tan bottle, and e) being Michelle Dockery. At least we can try for the first four.

[Photos: Getty]