Dear 2011:

When you go — and you WILL go, you jerk, and I will CACKLE as the wall calendar hits you in the nethers on the way out — please take this with you. And all its brethren, progeny, and ilk. The world, and we suspect someday Colleen herself, will thank you. Assuming we ever bother speaking to you again. I will NOT sign your yearbook.

Best wishes, or at least wishes,


P.S. Don’t even THINK about trying to turn 2012 against us or else we will somehow make you keep Kris Humphries and at least two of the Real Housewives.

P.P.S. But thanks for Stefon on Weekend Update. He did help.

[Photo: Getty]

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