Honestly, this is like the pits of Dior crossed with Louis Vuitton’s obsession with booties and multiplied by a bunch of graduation tassels from mortuary school. It’s terrible and Dior should — as usual — ground itself for a month with no TV privileges and double dishwashing duty. But Charlize is a grown woman, and very strong and intelligent and very much the architect of her own life and career. So I highly doubt she can be strongarmed into wearing any old thing Dior ships her, which means she must really like Dior bras. Because this marks the second time during this movie promo that she was evidently like, “Rad, my skin is a shirt, LET’S DO THIS.” And THAT is a bummer because if a fish as big as Charlize leapt back into the pond, SURELY it would prompt some serious self-reflection from this shitshow of a couturier. Why is she settling for this? Why is ANYONE settling for this? Why is Charlize Theron not the most glamorous person around right now? Why isn’t she gliding through life in a series of custom Ralph & Russo gowns, or a gleaming Calvin Klein monochrome piece in a stunning color, or some Roksanda or Mary Katrantzou or Peter Pilotto that’s artsy and a little weird but at least has a point of view other than “athleisure/Kardashian type”? CAN WE PLEASE GET THIS ONE THING ON TRACK, UNIVERSE?