In the year 1998, while some people were buzzing around freaking out about whether our electronics would explode in our faces when we hit 2000, Carmen Electra was finishing her run on Baywatch and starring in the film The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven.¬†And she dropped by the MTV Movie Awards wearing a gown that looks like a cross between a Second Skin Satin strapless bra and the Hammerhead alien from the Mos Eisley Cantina. … Oh, hell, we might as well go all the way there:

1998 MTV Movie Awards

“But Heather,” you might think, “it’s just a hammerhead bodice. We have seen weirder, surely, in the twenty years hence.” Maybe. But what struck me about this outfit was the side view:

1998 MTV Movie Awards

It was awe-inspiring, in its own way, to imagine her being THIS confident in the strength of her boob tape. The one time I tried it, which was just to keep a blouse from flapping open, the tape lost its stick almost immediately. Even Post-It notes give up the ghost without a ton of provocation. Looking closer, though, and with the later aid of a back view, I noticed she did have a little help:

1998 MTV Movie Awards

There is a very subtle, careful PVC strap there providing a valuable assist. She’s still a walking trust exercise, but it’s at least a LITTLE easier to believe she had faith in that, than in a special glue that may or may not have been invented by Romy and/or Michele.

[Photos: Shutterstock, Getty]