Someone please liberate those shoes. Don’t drag them into this.

If Colonel Sanders had call girls, I don’t want to know about it. That’s between him and Original Recipe Bone-In Chicken.

This dress, I think, is an improvement but could itself have been so much better than it is:

I wish the whole THING was in the awesome glittery green stuff, because the black sheath underneath it looks flimsy and cheap — I mean, we can see her slip — and it’s not moving with her very nicely, so it gets bunchy and lumpy.  And what is that horrible longitude from her right boob down to her hip? WHY, JASON. Why is it that the pretty ideas never seem to get taken to their most satisfying climax? Don’t give us fashion blue balls, sir.


She clearly got the Fug Nation Smile Memo. Good note, y’all.

[Photo: Getty]