I have made a similar joke before, but I must do it again, because never has it been SO apt:

I am told by the world that Camilla Belle is an actress, but for my money, she’s a serial kidnapper of Arts & Letters grads who leaves them for dead in a well (“It puts the tassel in the basket”) and scalps their mortarboards so that she can wear her kills. Somebody please tell her that hubris will be her undoing. Also, that she should negotiate to star in her own biopic before she lands in the pokey.

[Photo: Getty]