“You heard wrong. My television show is not cancelled. My television show is having its quinceañera next year and must then leave to become a woman. So do not get it twisted. You do not CANCEL the LOPEZ. But you know who is going to get canceled? Mother Nature, for spitting in my face. I may only be partially eclipsing my groin, lovers, but I will totally eclipse the sun WITH MY FIST when I fly up and punch it into 2020. Unless… is this a test? Am I learning what it feels to be blind, like that Hairdevil man who Plugfleck played in the movie where he met Jennifer Garbage? Is this teaching me about the heroes who don’t no never mind lovers I still want to punch so take your stupid sun and stop lighting the Lopez. I make my own spotlight.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]