Let me say, right off the bat, that I’m pretty sure I don’t, or ought not, like this dress.
And yet, at the same time, I suspect Rihanna looks totally awesome. The hair is hot, her eyes totally pop, and her bod looks — as the kids say — slammin’. None of which are things that are exclusive to her; I mean, Blake Lively wears terrible dresses all the time, and her hair/face/body are also top-notch. Leighton Meester just wore that transparent jumpsuit that I’m pretty sure was woven from Satan’s armpit hair, yet she’s no less gorgeous herself. And this dress’s posterior reveal isn’t isn’t so far removed from that outfit’s. But… I don’t know, some reason I almost feel affectionately toward this when I view it from the front:
Yes, sure, it looks like she coated herself in honey and wandered through a forest woven of dangling entrails. And it’s a monochromatic and nakeder version of Halle Berry’s iconic Oscar-win gown. But everything’s gelling really well in spite of all that, and as a bonus, it creates the aura that she’s two seconds away from taking Pink Shirt back there and beguiling him into participating in a very erotic tango, which might be the best thing to happen to Pink Shirt since Dr. Scholl pioneered gel insoles. Ergo, my digressions officially have taken me so far away from reality that I have no idea what I’m saying anymore. Do red M&Ms still kill you?