Finch is what happens when somebody sniffs paint for an hour and then says, “What if, WHAT IF, we made John Wick, but like the OPPOSITE, sort of, with shades of Cast Away and maybe Wall-E and also that Will Forte show?!??” Tom Hanks plays the last man on earth, who invents a robot to take care of his dog when he inevitably dies. And maybe it’s great. Maybe it’s another Tom Hanks tour de force. But I ask you this, Tom. What happens when the dog dies? What then, Tom? Will the robot, Jeff, be all ALONE? Did you make JEFF any friends or family? What about a robot dog? Does Jeff not matter? Is he merely an EMPLOYEE to you, Tom? Is he not meaningful? When you prick Jeff, does he not bleed (oil)? Look at him, Tom. Look him in the multiple eye orbs and tell him that it’s going to be totally okay, fine even, when he’s stuck roaming the Earth TOTALLY ALONE until he forgets to charge himself, or a lightning storm electrocutes him out of his loneliness.

I do appreciate Jeff’s pop of color on his head. The circuitry all seems to fit perfectly; I just feel like… whatever happened to fabric? We don’t need to see EVERY INCH of poor Jeff, do we, Tom? I also just don’t think I would have gone with brown gloves, and we can do better than those plastic-looking shoes. It’s not a bad first draft, but Jeff the Heroic Dog Sitting Robot really deserves a hot new color scheme if he’s going to live out his days alone on a rock.

[Photo: Eric Charbonneau/Shutterstock]
Tags: Tom Hanks