I have so many thoughts about Maggie Gyllenhaal’s new movie Won’t Back Down, and maybe one about her outfit for its premiere:

Namely: who greenlit this movie? I’m sure it’s a very worthy subject, but who in their right minds thinks anyone is going to get a babysitter and pay $12 a ticket to see Maggie Gyllenhaal in a movie about charter schools? Let me run down the problems there for you:

  1. that is a TV movie. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis Start A Charter School, Fight The Power, And Teach Kids to Read has Sunday Night TV Movie written ALL OVER IT. And “major theatrical release” written all over none of it.
  2. Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good actress, but she can not anchor a movie, especially one that is already about a subject that a huge portion of the movie-going public is going to find theoretically boring, and the other portion of the movie-going public has already seen tackled in far more powerful style in Waiting For Superman. Literally NO ONE in the history of EVER is going to say, “let’s go see that new Maggie Gyllenhaal movie about school districts where she screams about illiteracy for two hours”  Sandra Bullock could anchor that movie.  That’s about it.
  3. “BEING POOR SUCKS AND MY KID CAN’T READ” is the most memorable line from the trailer and that sound you hear is the rest of America saying, “uh, NO SHIT. If I’m going to pay to see a Gyllenhaal watch shit get real this weekend, it’s going to be Jake in End of Watch, because it’s supposed to be great AND there might be a car chase. I get enough poverty and homework during the week.”
  4. She might realize all this, which is why she’s wearing her nightgown to the premiere.