Actually, let’s begin with a perfectly regular outfit, from Zoe’s Instagram feed:

After weeks and weeks of midriff-nonspecific clothing, this tucked-and-tight Monique Lhuillier sure seems tantamount to making the announcement everyone has been speculating is coming. And I mention that first, because knowing it somehow makes this second outfit FUNNY-awful in addition to just awful-awful:

That is a bra, some very fancy gift wrap, and a snapped thong, all somehow tricked into co-existing on one body. I think the world at large really wants Zoe to have this elevated sense of taste, but really, most of the time, I think she has an elevated sense of fussiness.

Seriously: It’s confusing and it’s ugly and it looks like a menstrual belt lost a bet with a glue gun. Pass.

[Photos: Getty, Instagram]

Tags: Zoe Saldana