Fug Madness 2018 winner Bella Thorne has a new book of poetry out, which I’m guessing is why she’s holding a bouquet of roses. It looks celebratory. Congratulations! She also has a young adult book that she wrote years ago, so this is not her first published work, but it never gets any less exciting.
Side note: The blurbs on her Amazon page are incredible. She has not one but TWO in which the blurber notes that they haven’t actually read the book; one, Jessica Chastain, instead compliments Bella herself on her honesty and willingness to speak up about difficult subjects, and the other is Diplo, who wrote, “”Hey, I didn’t read this book. Bella gave it to me and I left it on an airplane.” This appears to be a reference to something Bella put in the introduction about leaving the drafts of two previous books on a plane, but still. She also got a “blurb” from Zendaya that reads more like a message in a yearbook (“You’ll always be the Cece to my Rocky”), a compliment from Lena Dunham, a note from MELISSA LEO of all people (she really wants you to consider this book,), a line from Jason Reitman in which he compares her style to that of a kidnapper in a ransom note, something idiotic from Marilyn Manson (“”I just became illiterate after reading this. But the nude photographs were still very interesting”), and then something that I firmly believe Snopp Dogg wrote in an e-mail and then just told them they could print because why not: “Yo, sitting here smokin’, checking out this book of poems from my homegirl Bella. Damn girl, you dope as a mothafucka. I didn’t know you had rhymes and rhythms and such words of magnitude and gratitude with just a little bit of attitude. yes, make sure you go get that book from my homegirl Bella. Book of rhymes certified so says Snoop Dogg. Oh yeah, she’s a poet and she know it and she ain’t afraid to show it. And if you happy and you know it, BLOW it. This for you, Bella, do ya shit girl!!”
ANYWAY: As usual, I’m nervous that she’s going to sneeze too vigorously and her shirt will quit its job; she has FOUR different blues on, if you count her eyeliner, and I think that’s at least two too many; the tailoring is off; I want to buy her a hot-oil treatment and a brush. But I suspect the poetry is an indicator that she’s been Going Through Some Stuff (in various interviews in the last year, she’s said as much), so I’m pleased to see her looking happy and dressed.
But hark, whose leg do I see before me?
Why, it’s Fug Madness 2017 Winner Keke Palmer, recently escaped from a pack of denim-hungry wolves! We are so glad you made it out alive, Keke.
Imagine both these outfits with different endings, and it’s an even more hug-worthy occasion.
