Tony Awards Fug or Fab: Scarlett Johansson

Imagine, if you will: You’re Scarlett Johansson. Once you read all your diaries and text messages and e-mails and whatnot, just to get the gossip on yourself, and you quickly write something on her forehead as proof of your possession and send yourself a portrait of it so that you can make your real-life friends believe, and then you stare at yourself in the mirror for three hours and try on all your clothes and then maybe call up someone from her Little Black Book for some ex-sex (anyone but Sean Penn) just to maximize your time in her body… when you’ve finished all THAT, you realize you’re due at the Tony Awards, and that you’ve barely been seen on the red carpet in at least eighteen months, in which time your ex has remarried. What do you do?

a) Bust out the biggest, awesomest, most show-stopping dress you can find, even if it’s a little crazy, just because it’s your time and your turn to make a splash;

b) Bust out the most gorgeous, sleekest, hint-of-sexy gown in a great color that you can find, because you’re Scarlett Johansson and you don’t have to try that hard to make people look;

c) Rest on your laurels a little, because you are Scarlett Johansson, and you can get by in an LBD and a jacket with good legs and some dark red lipstick, and also, you don’t want anyone to think you CARE about making a splash;

d) Stay home and call through that Little Black Book again because God knows how long you’ll get to be her.

Clearly ScarJo chose (c), which, aside from being the official national default answer to a multiple-choice test, also does at least work on her. It’s not a FAULTY outfit. But is it Tony-presenter-worthy? Is it enough? Is she resting on her laurels? Did she hit a home run, or just a double? Any RBIs in there? What’s her stat line? Please advise.

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