This post originally ran… well, exactly 13 years ago. It’s a weird-ass Monday in a pandemic so I’m just going to rerun it rather than rewrite it.

LAGERFELD: PET! Let me clutch you.

KIRSTEN: Hi, Karl. Dig my Ray Bans? They’re so Risky Business.

LAGERFELD: Cruising is for drunk people. DO A SHOT OF LIFE.

KIRSTEN: I think I already did — look at me!

LAGERFELD: How DIVINE. A vision in cranberry. To touch you is to cleanse the urethra. SPIN.

KIRSTEN: It’s good, right? And the purple purse? I’m adorable!

LAGERFELD: If I’d never seen you before, I would say, “Dear GOD, who is that WOMAN? Send her a goldfish.”

KIRSTEN: That … means a lot, I’m fairly sure.

LAGERFELD: I can’t squeeze hard enough, Miss Scarlett. Promise me you’ll do it in the conservatory with the lead pipe.

KIRSTEN: You’re a kick.

LAGERFELD: Kicking is for the mobile, darling. BE A STATUE.

[Photo: Splash News]