This is quite a group of women. While none of these ladies is wearing a dress that is big in the traditional sense, they pack their own punches: Niecy went with what I think of as a big dose of Hepburn (simple and sleek with just the right touch of embellishment), Hong Chau on the right over there went with big sparkle, Kristen Wiig opted for a hearty helping of I’m A Self-Made Aerobics Millionaire-Turned-Star of Financial Planning Infomercials Who Just Parked The Yacht in Capri a Day Ago But Is Still There Mentally, and Laura Dern chose… Big Kidman. Nicole just wore tall lace-up boots and a sleek black dress, which is the first thing I thought of when I saw Laura here. Also, that popped-open bodice with the bra flash is totally something Nicole would wear to accompany Keith to a music industry event that she is, let’s face it, only pretending to enjoy. I like Laura Dern’s style better when it isn’t making me think of somebody else, though, and that’s largely because Laura Dern is so damn groovy on her own.

Speaking of: I had no idea Laura Dern is in this movie. Is Laura Dern currently in every movie? Is that Hollywood’s new strategy — to just make sure Laura Dern spends a little time on every size screen in all the things? I have to say: I get it. And I don’t even mind, although eventually she’s going to get tired. Please, Hollywood, let Laura Dern nap so that she does not grow weary of being Laura Dern.

This concludes today’s edition of “It’s Almost Christmas, and Wow, Sometimes Coming Up With Words Is Like Pulling Teeth From A Caffeinated Yak.”