Two rounds are in the books, and some BIG contenders will go down in the next two days. The choices are gonna get tougher, y’all. Buckle in.
(1) Keke Palmer vs. (5) Diane Kruger – Thursday
Keke has emerged as a favorite. She easily beat Dascha Polanco, 78-22 (in terms of voting percentage). In an upset, Diane Kruger advanced past fourth seed Ashley Graham, 58-42, and now she’s up against a VERY tough top seed who has a massive arsenal of fuggery. Can she do it?
(10) Bella Thorne vs. (14) Charli XCX – Friday
Bella “Trying Too Hard” Thorne bested Felicity “Why Aren’t You Trying Harder” Jones, 73-27. With Charli XCX booting The Sev, 63-37, it sets up a clash of two fairly tacky titans. By the numbers, Bella is the favorite, but Charli’s potency cannot be denied.
(10) Halsey vs. (14) Tove Lo – Thursday
Halsey topped Nicole Kidman, 86-14, and Dakota Johnson finally fell to Tove Lo, 71-29. When the brackets were set, this was the one I hoped would happen. I feel like… the voting may end up disagreeing, but doesn’t this look to be extremely, even EERILY, evenly matched?
(1) Rita Ora vs. (12) Gabrielle Union – Friday
Fug Nation seems to be advancing the nakedest contenders (Bella over Felicity, and now Gabrielle over Michelle, 75-25), which I think speaks to people being OVER IT with the sheers, the labial near-misses, etc. Rita should be a good match for Gabrielle. She bested Kristen Stewart in a surprisingly close game with 54 percent of the vote, and is ready to bring her parade of terrible to Gabrielle’s front door.
(1) Kim Kardashian vs. (5) Jared Leto – Thursday
Kim garnered 78 percent of the vote over Gwen Stefani, and Jared easily sent home Karolina Kurkova, 81-19. I can’t wait to see what Fug Nation will do here. I mean, these are both people with whom we are FED UP, sartorially, so.
(2) Salma Hayek vs. (3) Chloe Grace Moretz – Friday
Y’all voted for some GOOD clashes. Chloe topped Nicola Peltz — honestly, I was surprised, but pleasantly — with 71 percent of the vote. I thought it would be much closer. And Salma dispatched Kelly Rowland, 63-37. She worked hard for this high seeding and she’s taking it far.
(2) Gigi Hadid vs. (3) Emily Ratajkowski – Thursday
Gigi had a strangely difficult time with Zosia Mamet, whose year we didn’t think was THAT bad, but who knocked out Heidi Klum and then came within a whisper of doing the same to Gigi. But Gigi managed 54 percent of the vote, and that’s enough. Emily had a way easier time with Kate Hudson, winning 74-26.
(1) Bella Hadid vs. (4) Beyonce – Friday
Fun fact: Beyonce has only ONCE advanced past the Sweet 16, and never to the final four. Most years, she goes out in round one or two. (Jena Malone should put on her resume, “Knocked out Beyonce in Round One, Fug Madness 2015.). She got 60 percent of the votes against Lena Dunham; can the mojo of her plastic Met Gala dress and visible crotch lines take her past Bella Hadid? Bella has continued her fairly easy path with an 83-17 win over Ciara.