Fug Madness 2017, the Final Game: Keke Palmer vs. Jared Leto

(1) Keke Palmer v. (5) Jared Leto

So many questions, friends. Will Keke Palmer — whose path to the final game has been fairly smooth, thanks at least in part to the power of her DiCapriPants — at last find a worthy opponent in Jared Leto, whose affection (and affectation) for Gucci and tube socks allowed him to best several worthy competitors, including powerhouse Rita Ora and two-time reigning champ Kim Kardashian? Does the fact that both of these people triumphed over more habitually naked contestants mean that we are over nudity-as-a-trend, or that we have accepted it? Will Jared Leto be the second man to win Fug Madness, following in the hallowed footsteps of one Justin Bieber? And am I the only person who thinks they might make a cute couple? Jared can teach Keke how to lean beautifully on things, and she can bring him a sense of sartorial glee; they can share coats; she can talk him into wearing a jacket covered with cut-outs of his own face as Jordan Catalano. Think about it, kids. Let something beautiful come from your conflict.

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