Frances ditched entirely (at least, as far as I can tell; does she not think she needs to campaign for this, or does she sincerely not care? I tend to suspect that 56% of any actor’s “I don’t care” persona is a bit of a front), and Meryl didn’t walk the red carpet, leading me to a beautiful thirty-five minutes where I decided they were carpooling, and at the last moment chose not to turn into the valet for the venue and instead hit the open road for 72 hours of nachos, beer, and the wanton destruction of mediocre men.

[Photos: Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock, Chelsea Lauren/REX/Shutterstock, Danny Moloshok/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock]