“Oh, this old thing? Well, I couldn’t wear the beret and the leopard minidress, right? So I just borrowed what my Great Aunt Murgatroyd wore to the funeral of her lover at the nursing home, who turned out to be slipping the Werther’s to six other ladies as well. I mean, everyone SAID Murgatroyd looked the tartiest of all of them, so… what, is this not good? Should I have worn the head scarf?”