In many ways, I admire Jessica Simpson. She was wise to realize at some point that her personal mega-stardom had an expiration date — or, conversely, that she didn’t want to put in the work required to continue to be a successful recording artists — and she diversified and her fashion company made her kajillions of dollars. So she is sorted, unless it comes to pass that she’s one of those celebs who’s installed a 24-karat gold Jacuzzi tub into all of her bathrooms and blown through all her cash. HOWEVER! I have a theory that within the next 2-16 months, she is going to announce that she’s recording a new album (it will be a return to her country roots) and in that case, PLEASE DEAR STYLISTS OF THE WORLD, HELP THIS SWEET SUMMER CHILD. Do not allow her to sashay out of hotels dressed like a French maid unless she has taken on a stunt-casted role in a Broadway adaptation of Clue! And PLEASE PLEASE take this combination of…things….and BURN IT:
What. No. Honey. WHY.