At last! Royals are creeping out of their summer lairs to rejoin us in this working world! This week, we have people on boats and at funerals and meeting dogs and going to church.

Elsewhere on the internet:

Trump was meant to visit Denmark next month, but he called it off because he’s mad the Prime Minister won’t talk to him about buying Greenland. The royal house called the cancellation “a surprise.” Yes. Yes, we’re all surprised by basically everything about this entire news story! (Having said that, I saw some stuff on Twitter that was like, “the Danish queen must be relieved,” and, honestly, Daisy has already seen it all with her own spouse, so I think she’d have been JUST. FINE. regardless.) Anyway, sorry, Denmark. We’re in a bit of a mess over here. We don’t really want Greenland. Also, Greenland isn’t for sale? And no one asked Greenland? Sigh.  [New York Times]

At Lainey: Will Prince Andrew be deposed? (This is also a good look at current British press shenanigans in general.) ALSO I just read somewhere that the rumor is that Bea is engaged, which I can see SOMEONE deciding was a good idea (perhaps, honestly, a miserable Bea who is longing for something nice to happen) but which will be….a REALLY messy PR conundrum, as Andrew needs to lay low and we know that, if Bea is getting a royal wedding, he will not do that.

Related, at The Times: Jeffrey Epstein pilot’s logs pose questions for Prince Andrew. This whole thing is EFFED UP and I think some chickens are perhaps finally coming home to roost. I read a story at…maybe The Cut? Yes …wherein someone was telling a story of how Andrew was getting a foot massage (barf) at Epstein’s and complaining that Prince Albert works 12 hour days and then goes out and ties one on in Monaco and no one cares, but HE can’t do that. (a) Andy, you’ve never worked 12 hours straight in your life and (b) PRESUMABLY ALBERT WAS TYING ONE ON WITH CONSENTING ADULTS and (c) Monaco is full of rich tax-dodgers so I am reasonably certain they probably ARE more likely to ignore other people’s shenanigans. This whole thing is a HOT MESS and people are disgusting.

In nicer news: This week, the Sussexes released an Instastory about Meghan’s Smartworks collaboration; our friends at Meghan’s Mirror break it down.

Aw, mazel tov to Cressy: Prince Harry’s ex-girlfriend Cressida Bonas engaged to former flame. (Also named Harry. She also dated him PRIOR to Prince Harry. Also, he’s HOT, good for her.) [The Mirror]

Her ring is gorgeous. [Who What Wear]

At Town & Country, in the wake of all the hair-tearing about private jets, we get some LOGISTICS: How Queen Elizabeth and the Royal Family Really Travel. Basically: It varies, there are a lot of variables, a lot of it is planned well in advance,.

Related: lot of press is in a tizz that Harry and Meghan aren’t at Balmoral at the moment, although the Cambridges are, leaving aside the fact that they probably WILL overlap later in the month and also I feel like Harry never used to go up there other than a day here and there previously ANYWAY so this isn’t really a THING and he has to be in London for rugby AS IT IS.

Oh! This is something good! At Glamour: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Make History by Hiring an All-Female Senior Staff. 

At Hello!: James Middleton reveals exciting news: ‘It’s a wonderful feeling.‘ Spoiler: The Marshmallow Empire is finally operating in the black! MAZEL TO THE BARON. I also saw on his Insta that he’s getting into bee-keeping. I might love the Marshmallow Baron.

At The Cut: Pierre Casiraghi is sailing with Greta Thunberg, who owns the racing yacht she’s currently using. I did not know that!

And, on social media:




[Photos: IBL/Shutterstock,  TOMMY PEDERSEN/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock, Peter Jolly/Shutterstock, Invicta Kent Media/Shutterstock, Shutterstock]