Priyanka, let me begin by saying that I am not sure about this hair; since you did NOT hack it off with hedge clippers before the party, it probably shouldn’t look that way. But you got me with that dress. It’s slinky and shiny and fits like a glove — it’s by Sally LaPointe; should people perhaps wear her more often? — and I am a very easily seduced little magpie of a person, so of course I’m on board. I am BASIC and I’m FINE WITH IT. I almost didn’t even notice, to be honest. I almost skipped out of here with a grin on my face and a song in the chest cavity where my heart should be. And then. THE SHOES. The Alexander Wang shoes, or “shoes,” caught my eye. Are they just… mesh stockings with soles? See-through toe slings on rubber? Priyanka, be honest with me: ARE YOU WEARING FOOT PANTIES?