Nadiya Bychkova is apparently one of the pros on Strictly Come Dancing — so, random to us, but not so much to our UK readers, potentially — and went to a press night performance of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I am giving you that context because it feels like she fell asleep during an online quilting class and had a vision of cutting swatches from several other garments to make an amazing technicolor dreamdress. Unfortunately, any dream will not do, not always, and she should have closed every door to that.

[Photo: Getty]