First off, I have NO IDEA why Kelly Ripa is at the Oscars:

Maybe she’s quasi-covering it for Live? Don’t get me wrong: I actually quite like Kelly. Our relationship dates back to when we were both terribly young and she was wearing a hideous crazy wig on All My Children and I had a misguided short haircut a la Demi Moore in Ghost, which was the worst possible hair for my face. So we bonded. On the astral plane.


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