I miss Katie Cassidy:

She was so brilliant on Melrose Place: Take Two. And then Gossip Girl kind of misused her — don’t get me wrong, she herself was fine, but the reveal of the motivation for her plot line was so drawn out that I started to wonder if I had missed the episode where they explained why she was being such a weirdo. And then her new pilot didn’t get picked up. Someone, please give her a job. At the very least, so she will stop wearing lanyards out in public.

As doilies go, though, this one is pretty cute. I have also decided that her dark roots are a shout out to Amanda Woodward (of Melrose Place: The Original) and therefore a coded way of reminding us all that every show on the CW right now could use an infusion of delicious bitchery. God knows One Tree Hill could benefit from someone sweeping into town and stealing some husbands and ruining some lives and feeding some hearts to dogs. If there’s one more episode on that show about how everyone just loves each other, I will stop watching and YOU KNOW I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT. Pick up the phone and call Cassidy, Mark Schwan. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.