In the vein of what I said about Madonna earlier, let’s talk about KNOWING YOUR AUDIENCE:

One does not wear a Philip Treacy Feather Mohawk Headpiece and velvet tartan thigh-high Louboutins and a crazy ballgown to, say, the premiere of I Don’t Know How She Does It or that time you presented the Nobel prize in chemistry or whatever. You wear it to a formal event where the theme is “punk,” and you REALLY wear it when you start to get to the point in your life when you’re trying to figure out how best to become more eccentric. Because OF COURSE this is eccentric. But it is also fun, and it’s almost on topic, and I really wish three-quarters of the other people who attended this event had called SPJ and asked her for some advice on how to put that off — because many of them just gave up. And no one likes a quitter. (I like to think that this entire monologue was also just delivered by the gesticulating dude standing behind her to his rather un-punk looking companions, Marion Cotillard and Jennifer Lawrence. [Yes! This IS Raf Simons, the Dior designer; I meant to check when I wrote this last night and totally spaced out; thanks, Fug Nation!])

[Photo: Getty]