THE OLSEN TWINS: A PLAY IN TWO SCENES:
Somewhere in an unspecified and probably fictional European country; sometime in the previous two hundred years; at a bar located in the raucous drawing room of a house of ill-repute:
ASHLEY OLSEN: GENTLEMAN! Gather round! Tonight, here at Olsen’s! We’re having a two-for-one on everything Irish! I MEAN PINTS AND GIRLS ALIKE OH NO I DIDN’T OH YES I DID BECAUSE I’M A MADAM WHO’S CURRENTLY TENDING HER OWN BAR! CHECK OUT ME SLEEVES!
AND WHERE’S MARY-KATE GONE OFF TO, YE ASK?
Cross her palm with silver, lads, and your fortune she will tell!