Mayday is an action flick that unites, somehow, Ryan Reynolds and… Sir Kenneth Branagh?!? It’s a classic tale: Boy in 1987 joins military, boy gets dropped into Russia, boy meets friendly Russian ex-KGB carpenter played by Kenneth and likely featuring an outrageous accent. Maria Bakalova here (in Aadnevik) likely plays Sir Ken’s daughter, and if we’re gauging theme-dressing, she has shown up here dressed as a cry for help. A wilting bra, a misguided chastity cummerbund, a shower curtain… she looks like a photo of a Cake Fail from her commune’s group wedding at Burning Man.
