“Hey dudes. So, remember when I would wear plain black heels and change out of them ten seconds later into Converse? Haven’t I come a long way? No — stop looking at the suspenders on my tweed skirt. And no, I don’t have a chest injury. It’s just a tube top. Or like… it’s a big nip bandage, or something. Stop. Focus on the shoes. Or my hair! Listen, I just had to wear SOMETHING Chanel or they’d stop with the contract and give it to the Depp girl or Keira Knightley or whatever, and they’re fine, but I LIKE doing indie movies and I┬ádon’t want to have to make a Twilight reunion movie so we’re just gonna have to put up with Karl’s ridiculous ideas sometimes. Thanks.”

[Photo: Backgrid]