Looking at the three of these ladies, you might think, “Okay. This is good, right? Portman looks very Portman. Gina Rodriguez’s dress has some weird hip vents, but the rest is interesting. And how kooky is Jennifer Jason Leigh ever, anyway? We’re fine, right?”

The Los Angeles Premiere of Annihilation

Then suddenly it’s quite possibly SHORTS shrouded in fancy chicken wire, and in a surprise swerve, that may not even be the worst part: The shoes may own that distinction. It’s the Valentine’s Day chocolate box that you left in your car and found two days later, melted and reformed into something only faintly recognizable.

Natalie and Gina had much simpler endings to their fashion stories:

The Los Angeles Premiere of Annihilation

Natalie’s is still resoundingly fine. I LOVE what Gina’s wearing, if not her unbrushed-looking hair; I wish I didn’t know about the waist windows. Maybe I can pretend I didn’t see them, or that she has a rare medical condition that mandates she can only wear very breathable mesh on a very specific patch of her abs. Yes. Let’s go with that. It’s Valentine’s Day! I want to love something, so just LET ME.

[Photos: InstarImages.com]