I am unclear whether the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile musical is combining events from that second book with the first (The House on East 88th Street), or whether it’s just doing its own thing. But the music and lyrics are by the duo who did La La Land and The Greatest Showman and Dear Evan Hansen, so it’ll probably have some catchy stuff to belt in your car, at least? If it’s anywhere near as delightful as Paddington and Paddington 2 (truly, without sarcasm, Hugh Grant’s finest performance), then we are in for a treat. So far, the only announced famous names are Constance Wu and Javier Bardem here, and no one has said who is playing what part. I assume Javier is not the crocodile. Does this mean he’s playing Mr. Primm, or could he be be the neighbor, Mr. Grumps?** Listen, I don’t mean to intimidate Javier, or Constance, or anyone associated with this production. But the definitive Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile may already exist. Liam did a first-grade video book report in which Kevin played the role of Mr. Grumps, a stuffed Sully appeared as Mr. Grumps’s cat, Liam narrated the whole thing through a tragic and obvious head cold, and the beans — clad in a Godzilla Halloween costume — played Lyle interchangeably. Critics raved. So like… just do your best, I guess, Javier.

** Oh my GOODNESS, a Friend of Fug (and folks in the comments!) has pointed out that he is clearly playing Hector P. Valenti and this HAS TO BE IT. How did I forget that Hector exists? Did we do a book report based on the Cliffs Notes?!?

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