We already saw Janina once today in a fringe outfit at the Blindspotting premiere, but it turns out she’s pounding the pavement a fair bit for this one. You might remember her from True Blood, or briefly The Vampire Diaries, or as the lady who strolled into Meghan Markle’s wedding in an orange cape like she owned the castle (she looked awesome). So she is no stranger to dressing dramatically, but here it’s more… shrunken and itchy. I seriously feel like I have seen this woman waiting in line outside various Hollywood bars at 11 p.m., when I am leaving the theatre and happy to go home for the night, but she is still waiting for hers to begin, yelling into her phone at someone who was supposed to get her inside, wobbling at the ankles, and making sure she has enough in her purse for the cover charge and one $21 martini that will be made with well gin. That person will not return home with both sleeves intact.
Here she looks a lot more reasonable, but also like a girl who walked out of an old Delia’s catalog and then borrowed her mother’s old jazzercise tights. I know we’ve had great debates raging about whether hose are ever truly necessary, and the only conclusive thing I can contribute to that debate is: thick shiny flesh-tone hose make you look either like a Denise Austin addict or like you spend HOURS polishing your legs with a floor buffer. Neither is optimal.