So, noted dermatological expert Paris Hilton has started a line of skincare called Pro D.N.A, and the bottles are actually pretty attractive except everyone who sees them will know you are using Paris Hilton-branded face wash. And looking at her cradling one of them the way Vicki Gunvalson man-handles an orange in the credits of The Real Housewives of OC, whilst wearing a jumpsuit that’s both cheap-looking and confusing, and sporting too-long hair extensions, got me to thinking: Obviously, Paris Hilton could and should follow in the footsteps of her aunts Kyle and Kim and join a Real Housewives franchise. Bravo could just Photoshop out this bottle of Face Serum Something Or Other and replace it with the talisman of whatever city is forced to accept her as part of its cast. (Geographically-speaking, obviously, it should be Beverly Hills, but while I long to see Lisa Vanderpump try and fail not to sneer at Paris on a weekly basis, I suspect La Hilton is more emotionally suited to OC, where everyone will also sincerely hate her guts.) Don’t get me wrong: I have interviewed Paris and I suspect that adding her to your reality show cast will be nightmarish for production because she will just sit in the corner and play with her hair and then maybe call some women old before wandering off into the night. That does not mean I don’t want to watch that play out. (The actual truth is that Nicky could be added to RHoNY in a heartbeat but she’s married to a Rothschild and doesn’t need to do anything but her nails.) Her flat affect would drive people nuts; this would be a tremendously enjoyable failed experiment.

There is, however, no larger purpose for those fingerless gloves.

[Photo: PA Images/]