2) I’m operating on the assumption these are fake bangs, by the way. They have to be fake bangs. LOOK AT THEM.
3) If those aren’t fake bangs, then she needs to shoot somebody out of a cannon.
3a) In a real way. This isn’t just circus tough talk. Find a cannon and fire that person at the moon.
4) They’re so fake. EXORBITANTLY fake.
4a) I don’t hate fake hair, by the way. I just want my fake hair to be worthwhile fake hair.
5) Why can’t Emma Roberts get worthwhile fake bangs?
6) Those MIGHT be horse hair.
7) Seriously, her clip-in possibly used to string a violin bow.
9) I must know. Why does she want her head to look like this, even temporarily?
10) Why didn’t she remove them?
11) Is the next American Horror Story called American Horror Story: Wiglet?
12) Once her Covfefe of Bangs revealed itself to her, why didn’t she put on an actual great dress to DISTRACT us, rather than this Armani sadface?