In the interest of full disclosure, I must confess that I am an avowed Forever Opponent of these sort of dresses, because the Torso Diamond always makes me think you’ve got them on backwards. HOWEVER! I think Goop’s true nemesis here is that she’s been asked to pose for this photo against a blank, white wall whilst standing on a plain tile floor. The surroundings — truly, our ultimate accessory — are conspiring to wash her out. Take this look and plonk her against an ivy-covered brick wall, or a glistening blue swimming pool, and we’d all be like, “invite me to your party, Gwyneth!!” So, truly, the take-away lesson here is that apparently Gwyneth cannot control everything and she also needs to exert more of an iron fist on the step-and-repeat front.

[Photo: Patrick Lewis/Starpix for Netflix/Shutterstock]