Have you ever gone wedding dress shopping — either for yourself, or with a friend — and thought, “Holy shit. I just fell into a wormhole decorated solely by Jessica McClintock”?
Because Kim Kardashian is the Mayor of that wormhole. (It’s called McClintockentucky.) And none of us are happy to be stuck there for all eternity, especially Kim. I mean, look at those epaulets!
She’s like, “yeah, yeah, they seem crazy, but what you DON’T know is that I can stuff four-to-seven of PF Chang’s lettuce wraps into these things and smuggle them home without anyone being the wiser. And there’s nothing better than a lettuce wrap snuck out of an epaulet and into your mouth when you’re huddled in the backseat of an Escalade reminiscing about how you used to be Paris Hilton’s lesser-known bestie and now you’re SUPER CRAZY RICH MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH SUCK ON THAT HILTON WHO’S FAMOUS NOW?”
You have to admit, she has a point.