Let’s start with the makeup: It makes Kim Kardashian look like she’s been punched in the mouth, and it subsequently swelled up to the point that it can’t move naturally.
And the dress is way too heavy for her curvy frame. Seriously, when you have a sizable chest and major hips, a gown with actual fins is too much — unless you anticipate somebody picking you up and hucking you like a paper airplane in the direction of whatever athlete-of-the-moment is standing across the room looking for a girl to get him in Us Weekly.
And WHAT is going on here?
Actually, this gives me an idea: dresses with ACTUAL workable cocktail shelves installed in the bust. You’ll never hold an empty wine glass or a greasy hors d’oeuvre plate again.