I think I might be incapable of being unbiased about her now. Because every time I see Shailene Woodley, I have flashes of emotionless twentysomethings pretending to be the world’s most pathologically dull sex-fearing and sex-obsessed and sex-having and sex-crying and baby-making and proposal-making teens in the world, with the ABC Family dude, saying, “Next, on an all new Secret Life, starring ACADEMY AWARD-NOMINEE SHAILENE WOODLEY,” and then I break out into a cold sweat.
I feel like… it’s good this isn’t a jumpsuit. I’m glad she didn’t wear black shoes. The braid gives her a sweet equestrian thing, I guess… essentially, it feels like Shailene has told her team to hire Hailee Steinfeld’s stylist. And that’s all well and good, but I’m not sure it’s going to make me okay with those pants. They seem kind of dated, and not in the “so old they’re new” kind of way, where everyone whips out something they had in their closet that’s more than 10 years old and decides it qualifies as vintage. What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Is the ABC Family announcer man in my head making me unable to think clearly about any edgy cuteness that might be on display here? Or is this a miss?
ON THE NEXT SECRET LIFE...
- ... SEX SEX BABY SEX MARRY ME THIS IS AWESOME. (12%, 813 Votes)
- ... SEX SEX BABY SEX MARRY ME THIS IS TERRIBLE (34%, 2,270 Votes)
- ... SEX SEX BABY SEX MARRY ME THIS IS FINE I GUESS (53%, 3,513 Votes)
Total Voters: 6,598