We had more tight, down-to-the-wire clashes this year than ever before, but in the end, the top seeds largely prevailed, even if their path to the Final Four was at times unorthodox. We saw the unexpected early falls of Kristen Wiig and Kerry Washington and Jennifer Lawrence; the rise of Jaden Smith and Bella Thorne as potential future forces of fuggery; what may or may not be a last gasp from Madonna, the only inspiration for our bracket names who is still also a contender; and a strong, unexpected run from former winner Vanessa Hudgens.
The finals came down to Kim Kardashian, for the second year in a row, and Miley Cyrus in her first-ever appearance. It was the perception of basic bad taste versus the perception of an addiction to shock value — and yet, both sides of that equation fit both finalists. Their craving for attention is equal; their beliefs that they’re forces in fashion are, I believe, also equal.
Which one reigned supreme?
Sorry, Kim. You are (soon to be) three times a bride in real life, but twice the bridesmaid in Fug Madness. And in fact, Kim lost to Miley by a very similar margin — 61 percent to 39 percent — to that by which Justin Bieber defeated her last year, which I believe was a 59-41 split. I don’t know if that’s good or bad luck, but if Kim can keep the train going, her time may yet come. Or kome, as it were.
As for Miley, few people have worked as hard for this dubious honor as she did. If you’re feeling weird about whether she did this all for shock and not for style, allow me to remind you that she told Harper’s Bazaar, “I feel like every girl is trying to have a beauty shot and prove that they’re ‘fashion.’ But I can be in white leggings and a white sports bra and I’m on a whole other level of sh*t that those girls don’t even get yet because they don’t know how to do it.” And further, in a different interview, “I don’t understand what most girls are wearing today … I find it boring. Why don’t younger children try to be more risque.” Those are the words of a person who is totally enamored of everything she’s wearing and what she perceives as the Advanced Fashion behind it all. So even if you voted for Kim, you ought to be able to sleep tonight, because telling Miley that she was the year’s worst should still feel pretty satisfying.
The completed bracket can be found on our Fug Madness Wall of Fame, as can all the other previous commemorative videos. But now, it’s time for this one. Set to the ever-cheesy strains of CBS”s classic March Madness ditty, here are the deliciously, deliberately goofball stylings of “One Fugging Moment 2014,” courtesy of our GFY HQ Chief Editor, Post-Production Guru, and Fug Husband/All-Around National Treasure, who works for us pro-bono.
Let’s look back and agree that whatever the outcome, however you voted, it was a very fug year.
It’s a bizarre, tender, bubbly kind of poetry, isn’t it? Thank you for voting, discussing, and making this contest our favorite part of the year.