This round featured some epic, epic showdowns — and one of the most exciting contests in Fug Madness history, between — randomly — Sarah Jessica Parker and Shenae Grimes. To find out how that clash of unlikely titans played out, click on the jump; they’re in the Madonna bracket. But let’s start this sucker from the very beginning, shall we? It is, as Fraulein Maria will vouch, a very good place to start.
(12) CHLOE SEVIGNY vs. (16) KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN – Thursday
Man, was this close. Only four percentage points separated Chloe from Miley Cyrus, but she made it in, and now has to come up against the Kardashian fuggernaut that has laid waste both to many a bracket and to pop culture at large.
(2) ROONEY MARA vs. (3) VANESSA HUDGENS – Friday
Rooney had a tough fight from Heidi Klum, but she ended up beating her with a 55 percent haul; now she gets the Hudgernaut (“-naut” is my new favorite suffix), who, despite a hilarious and crazy challenge from Tyra, advanced with 73 percent of the vote.
(2) LADY GAGA vs. (6) LINDSAY LOHAN – Thursday
Stella McCartney put up her dukes, and early in the day she jumped out to a lead, but the Lohan faithful — or unfaithful, as the case may be — pushed her up like a good bra, giving her 62 percent of the vote and a spot in the Sweet Sixteen. She’ll face off against Lady Gaga, who trounced Rashida Jones with over 80 percent of the vote.
(4) ASHANTI vs. (8) ALEXA CHUNG – Friday
Ashanti continues to run roughshod over the opposition. Andrea Riseborough was only able to get 8 percent of the vote against The Vagina Sling. Alexa Chung, meanwhile, derailed J.Lo’s bid with 60 percent of the vote.
(4) FERGIE vs. (9) KATIE HOLMES – Thursday
Bye, Chastain. I thought you had a longer run in you, but then Katie Holmes jumped on the couch of your life and wouldn’t get down. With 59 percent of the vote, Katie moves on to face Fergie, whose arsenal was sufficiently impressive to stomp all over Thomas Jane’s bird feet with help from 79 percent of you.
(2) RIHANNA vs. (11) ROBYN – Friday
Jessica White’s lace jumpsuit finally met its match in Rihanna, who got 62 percent of the vote and earned the right to face off against Robyn. For her part, Robyn upset a LOT of brackets by busting — har, har — Christina Hendricks’ run. And it wasn’t even that close; Robyn got about two-thirds of the vote.
(2) JESSIE J vs (14) KE$HA – Thursday
Smell you later, Erin Wasson. She may have worn one of the single most annoying outfits of the year, but Erin couldn’t fend off Ke$ha’s grungy fug — although it was tight; Kesha squeaked by with 52 percent of support. Jessie’s margin of victory over Mia Wasikowska was much larger: She had backing from 79 percent of you.
(1) NICKI MINAJ vs.(4) SARAH JESSICA PARKER – Friday
YOU GUYS. This was the most exciting matchup ever: All day yesterday, Shenae Grimes and SJP were separated by 3 votes, then it was TIED, then it was six, then nine the other way, then TIED AGAIN, then a twenty-vote swing, and so on, and so forth… every time one made a big gain, the other caught up and overtook. Shenae held on as long as she could but ended up falling about 370 votes short. Nicki dispatched with Jaime King with cruel 77-percent efficiency.
Here it is, your field of 16: