The Council of Fashion Designers Awards — sort of the Fashion Oscars — took place last night, and Kim won the Innovation Award for her SKIMS shapewear. I cannot comment on that, as I haven’t tried it, but I have news: This slideshow is not hideous. Do we call them… KardJenners? Jenndashians? Honestly, I refer to them all as Kardashians, even though Kylie and Kendall have no Kard DNA and Kris hasn’t gone by that name in years. Anyway, herein we have — as I have taken to abbreviating them — the following elements in the Periodic Kard Table: Kh, Ki, Kr, Kn, and Ky, with Ko sitting out for whatever reason (she just bought a $14 million mansion with Travis Barker; she’s got furniture to rearrange). Also, I apologize to Rob, because he is the 7th one and this headline acts like he doesn’t exist. I was really only counting the ones who lead public lives; he does not currently play this game, but when he comes off the bench I will gladly add Ro to the Table. I keep assuming Kr will rebrand and relaunch him someday as, like, Kurt Kardashian (element Ku), which works because as we all know Kurt is the one I left out GOD BLESS KURT .

[Photos: Stephen Lovekin, Erik Pendzich, Matt Baron/Shutterstock]